Why Play Matters
Play can be enjoyable for everyone: babies, growing children, and adults.
Having fun together is important. But play isn’t just about fun. When a baby watches an adult’s face or listens to their voice, he or she is starting to learn.
When we play we learn to:
Explore
Focus
Concentrate
Pay attention
Imitate someone
Try out something new
Do the same thing hundreds of times
Find out about our own feelings
Get to know another person
Learn what we can do
Take turns
Pretend
Wait
Imagine
…and so much more!
Being in tune, relaxed and playful together helps babies to grow up healthy and secure.
It’s good for parents and carers too: playing together means growing together!
Different ages – different kinds of play
Copying an adult moving their eyebrows or their tongue is a game even very young babies can enjoy.
Tickle games like ‘Round and round the garden’ can be so enjoyable for babies. Notice when your baby looks away or stops laughing – he or she may need a bit of down time before they’re ready for the next round of interaction.
Peekaboo and Hide and Seek are games that help children cope with their feelings about people coming and going… Soon they’ll be ready to tease you by hiding something and watching to see how you respond.
Having a place for messy play with playdo, sand, paint or glue helps children to feel confident about trying new things.
Bath time is a great time for exploration and early experiments with what water does and where it can go.
Rhymes and songs help children with their language and learning.
Playing with dolls and toy animals is a good way for children to try out their ideas and talk about their feelings.
Seven Top Tips for Watch Me Play!
- Watch your child play- you’ll get new ideas from him or her
- Have a regular ‘special play time’ with your child – let the child take the lead, and wait to be invited to join in
- Try simple toys that let your child use their imagination
- Provide a quiet space for play without TV or screens
- Help your child move to a new activity by singing a song together
- Keep your child’s drawings and paintings in a special place or a folder
- If playing together feels hard to do, try to talk with someone else who knows your child
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Bengali here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Dutch: Waarom spelen belangrijk here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Japanese here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Mongolian: Тоглох Яагаад Чухал вэ here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Polish Dlaczego zabawa jest istotna here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Portuguese here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Romanian: De ce jocul conteaza here
Download the WHY PLAY MATTERS leaflet in Urdu: کھیل کیوں اہم ہوتا ہے here
A short guide to Watch Me Play! for parents and carers
Watch Me Play! is a simple way for a parent or caregiver to help their baby or child aged up to eight years old. It can help you to get to know your baby or child and enjoy being together.
Babies and young children need attention to help them grow – like plants need the sun. Having your full attention, even for a short time, helps your child to feel settled.
Play can help your child to feel close to you and to learn and develop. Just by watching your child play, you can find out more about what your child likes and is interested in right now. Talking with your child about their play, helps them to make sense of the world, and tells them that their thoughts and ideas are important to you.
All you need is a few simple toys or materials, your time, and someone to talk with about your child’s play. These five steps aim to help you and your child to enjoy spending time together:
1. Getting started
2. Letting your child take the lead in play
3. Watching your child play
4. Talking with your child about their play
5. Talking with another adult about your child’s play
1. Getting started
Find a time when you can give your baby or child your full attention for five, 10 or 20 minutes. Try a short time to begin with. Even five minutes can be helpful.
Choose five or six toys, books or materials. If your child throws things that could break or hurt, put out soft toys.
Turn off televisions, computers and phones and put away battery-operated or electronic toys during the Watch Me Play! time.
Try simple toys that let your child use their imagination:
- Boxes, containers, plastic or wooden spoons
- Baby dolls, teddy bears, soft toys, small wooden dolls
- Toy animals, trains, cars or boats
- A blanket and a cushion
- Soft balls
- Plasticine or playdough
- Toy phone, plastic tea set
- Plain paper, crayons or felt tips,
- Finger paints or paint and brushes
- Picture books or cloth books
If you’re not sure what is age appropriate or safe for your child, talk to a health visitor, nursery worker or another professional who knows your child. Sit comfortably with your baby, or on the floor or near your child. Tell your child how long you are going to watch him or her play.
Help your child to be ready for the end of the Watch Me Play! time – sing a song together to help your child move on to a new activity, or talk about what you are going to do next. Show him or her how you keep their toys for the next time.
2. Letting your child take the lead in play
Let your baby or child play freely, making their own choices. Let them explore any of the toys, using them in any way they like, as long as it is safe.
Watch to see when your baby is tired or hungry or needs a break. Give your child time to look around and look at you.
Try not to teach or correct your child during the Watch Me Play! time. Wait for your child to ask you to join in their play. If your child asks you to join in, try to follow their lead rather than bringing in your own ideas. Leave tidying up until the end of the Watch Me Play! time.
3. Watching your child play
During the Watch Me Play! time, give your baby or child your full attention. Get an idea about what your baby wants by waiting to see where her or his eyes go. Seeing what your baby looks at can tell you what he or she is interested in right now. When your baby looks away or starts to cry, they may be tired or need a break.
Show interest in anything your child chooses to do. Looking at your face or touching you, moving toys around or hiding them are all kinds of play that you can talk about with your baby or child. Children often do the same things over and over again in play- see what your child does.
Try not to interrupt your child or use your phone. Watch to see what happens as your child plays. Notice how she or he responds to you.
4. Talking with your child about their play
Talk to your child about what they are doing. Echo the sounds your baby makes, adding new sounds from time to time. Respond to your baby’s smiles by smiling or showing pleasure or surprise. Say something about what your baby looks at: ‘Do you want to look outside?’
Show your interest by smiling and talking with your baby or child about what he or she is doing. Leave some silences to give your child time to think or just wait for the next idea.
5. Talking with another adult about your child’s play
Children’s play can be fun, but sometimes it can be hard to watch. Talking about your baby or child’s play with another adult can help you enjoy more about your child’s play and also share any worries or concerns. This could be a family member or a friend, or a health visitor, GP, nursery worker or other professional who knows your child.
If you have worries about your child, try to see what happens when they play and how they respond when you take an interest. What you notice can help to work out if your child could benefit from some extra support. Talking and thinking about how it feels for you when you watch your child play could also help to understand what may be going on for your child.
Feedback from parents and carers
‘I can go home and do it today.’
‘It took a while to make a difference but now I see a lot of changes.’
‘I’m getting to see when my baby is ready to play and when he needs a break or a cuddle.’
‘He’s calmer when we play like this.’
‘She’s looking more and making more sounds.’
‘I understand why it’s important just to be with her.’
‘I feel more confident.’
‘My daughter is smiling more.’
Key points
- Watching your child play can help with bonding
- Playing freely helps your child to develop and learn
- Showing you are interested helps your baby or child to focus
- Adults thinking together helps a child to feel secure
Download the Short Guide to Watch Me Play! here
Download the Short Guide to Watch Me Play! in Bengali here
Download the Short Guide to Watch Me Play! in Dutch here
Download the Short Guide to Watch Me Play! in French here
Download the Short Guide to Watch Me Play! in Polish here
Download the Short Guide to Watch Me Play! in Urdu here
Watch Me Play! resources may be downloaded for free and shared with family, friends and colleagues by individuals and non-profit organizations, as long as they are not modified in any way and are provided with no charge.
You can find more materials and translations here.
In some areas, trained Watch Me Play! practitioners can support parents by joining them to watch and talk about their child’s play. Sessions can be in the family home, in a children’s centre, a clinic, or online. See the Links section for suggestions for finding services providing this kind of support in your local area.
Frequently asked questions
1 Can I do Watch Me Play with my grandchild, at nursery, or as a nanny?
Yes! Every adult who is with a child regularly can do Watch Me Play! and help the child to develop.
2 How old does my child need to be to do Watch Me Play with me?
You can do Watch Me Play! from the first weeks with your baby up to the age of around 8 years. The kind of play will change with your child’s age. Copying an adult, for example by moving their eyebrows or their tongue, lifting their eyebrows, or echoing sounds, is a game even very young babies can enjoy. When your baby looks away or their face becomes still, or your baby cries, he or she may need a bit of down time until they are ready to interact again.
Playing with dolls and small animals allows young children to express feelings and try out new ideas. Role-play games develop imagination, language, and social skills such as turn-taking. Children of all ages can look at books with you, while you follow your child’s pace and interests. Your older child may choose to draw, paint or make things, or play with toys during their Watch Me Play! time.
3 Can I do Watch me Play! with my two children together?
Watch Me Play! is about a child enjoying individual attention from their parent or carer, so it can only be done with one child at a time.
One-to-one attention helps children to focus and communicate. For families with more than one child, it may be possible to find five or ten minutes to spend with each child, while the other child or children are doing something else. Having repeated experiences of getting the full attention of their parent or carer, even for a short time, can help a child to be more settled at other times. Children may be more able to cope with their sibling having a special time with you when they know that they will get their turn.
4 I see my child playing all the time – why would I need to do Watch Me Play with her?
Watch Me Play! is something a bit different that is best done for a short time, 5 to 20 minutes. As well as watching your child play, it involves talking with your child about what he or she is doing as they play, avoiding telling your child how to play or what to do, waiting to be invited to join in with your child’s play, and noticing what it’s like for you to be with your child while they are playing.
This allows your child to feel that their ideas are important and interesting to you and can help your child develop skills for learning.
5 Why are baby-led play and child-led play important for development?
Baby-led play and child-led play help parents to tune into their child at each stage of their development. By helping your child to play freely, you are giving space for your child’s imagination and skills for learning to grow.
From birth, your baby can start to have playful ‘conversations’ with you that help you to get to know each other and show enjoyment. When you respond to your baby’s expressions or echo her sounds, she knows that you are watching and interested. For infants, games such as Round and Round the Garden, Pat-a-cake or One potato-two potato help children to learn about turn-taking. Peekaboo and hide-and-seek games let children enjoy finding you and being found by you.
Children need many skills to be ready to enjoy and learn at school. Turn-taking, knowing what’s coming next, doing things together, are all important for future learning and relationships. Exploratory play, making a mess and trying out different ways of using toys and materials help your child to develop these important skills.
Games in which your child plays out a story promote creativity, language and problem-solving. Sometimes children need to repeat their stories over and over again. Giving your full attention will help your child. You don’t need to talk about real life events; simply describing what’s happening in the play can help your child to feel understood.
6 My child can’t sit still for long. She gets up and runs around every so often – does this matter?
Lots of children need to work off some energy – it’s fine if they get up and move around during the Watch Me Play! time. You might find that if you just sit, watch calmly, and talk about what your child is doing, he or she might come back to play for a while. It may take some time for your child to get interested, and they may like to come and go from time to time, just like a baby who needs to regulate by turning away for a quiet moment or a little sleep after some close or exciting interaction.
Within the limits of the time you’ve set aside for Watch Me Play!, letting your baby or child know that you can wait until they are ready for more interaction is reassuring for them.
7 If I let my child choose what to do, he will do the same thing for hours. Isn’t it better if I direct him to something new to add to his development?
Children’s play often takes the same form over and over and over again, sometimes with a slight variation, sometimes exactly the same. Repetition is a very important part of a young child’s developing imagination, going over things in their mind, learning about what they can do, and about how things work. Physical skills and co-ordination are also developed through repetition in play.
Consistent, affectionate responses from adults help children to feel secure. During Watch Me Play! it’s good for your child to see that you are interested in and can stay with whatever he or she is interested in, rather than directing him or her to do something new. Over time, you may begin to see small changes that will add to your understanding of your child and his or her interests.
It can be hard to watch play that is very repetitive: if you are worried about your child’s development, or his or her play does not change after some weeks of doing Watch Me Play!, it could be helpful to talk about your child’s play with another adult who knows your child – a family member, a health visitor, or someone at school or nursery.
8 My child doesn’t really play, he just throws toys. Don’t I have to teach him to behave differently?
Put out soft toys and light plastic toys that your child can throw safely. Notice which toys your child picks up first and talk about this. Notice where the toys go and talk about this. Notice where your child looks and talk about this. See what your child does when you talk about what he or she is doing. If you have somewhere to play outside, see if your child likes to play with water using a washing up bowl and some plastic cups and containers.
Give your child plenty of preparation for the end of the Watch Me Play! time- by telling them a few minutes before it’s time to stop, or singing a song together, telling them about what you and they are going to do next, and about when you will do Watch Me Play! again.
One of the aims of Watch Me Play! is to help your child to be able to play. Your child may need some time to settle into a new routine. Some children show positive changes in their play and behaviour once they have got used to having their parent or carer’s full attention for a regular time. Try offering your child a shorter time for Watch Me Play! to start with and see if you notice any small changes over time.
If you have any worries, or if your child’s play is hard to watch and does not change, it may be helpful to talk about your child’s play with another adult who knows your child – a family member, a health visitor, or someone at school or nursery.
9 My child’s play can be very boisterous, a bit aggressive sometimes. She sometimes throws her dolls on the floor and stamps on them. Should I stop her?
When your child shouts at her doll or stamps on it, she is showing that she has found a way of dealing with very big feelings. Babies and young children often have strong feelings. Even babies can get cross and throw their toys. It’s normal to have aggressive feelings and thoughts as well as loving feelings and thoughts. For most children, their feelings get less intense as they get older. Play can be a very helpful way for children to express their thoughts and ideas and to let out their feelings safely.
There can be a lot of drama but in play, no one gets hurt. Put out soft toys and light plastic toys for your child to play with safely. Set limits calmly if the play changes into hurting other children or adults. As long as no one is getting hurt, try to accept what your child does when she is playing and show an interest and talk about what happens in her play. Notice how your child responds when you talk about what she is doing. She may repeat this play many times. It may be some time before you start to see something different happening in her play.
It can be hard to watch play that feels aggressive. If you have any worries, or your child’s play does not change after some weeks of doing Watch Me Play!, it may be helpful to talk about your child’s play with another adult who knows your child – a family member, a health visitor, a GP, or someone at school or nursery.
10 My baby won’t let me put her down – she wants my attention all the time! My toddler is very clingy- won’t this approach just make this worse?
Your child might be more clingy for a while, but many children become more able to play by themselves once they have got used to having regular Watch Me Play! times. One-to-one attention from an adult supports children to play for longer and to find new ways of playing by themselves. Having had your attention regularly may help your child to develop their own attention span.
Give your child plenty of preparation for the end of the Watch Me Play! time- by telling them a few minutes before it’s time to stop, or singing a song together, telling them about what you and they are going to do next, and about when you will do Watch Me Play! again.
If your child continues to be clingy, or doesn’t seem able to get involved in play, it may be helpful to talk with your health visitor, GP or someone at nursery or school.
11 My child plays happily on his own. Does it matter if I respond to a message or email on my phone while we’re doing Watch Me Play! ?
It can make a big difference for your child to have your whole attention, even for a short time. We suggest doing Watch Me Play! with your child for between 5 and 20 minutes. Just 5 minutes when you can give your full attention is better than a longer time that is difficult to manage.
Having your full attention, whether for 5 or 20 minutes, can be reassuring for your child and can help him or her to focus. When you show that you can wait, you are helping your child to be able to wait. This will help him or her at nursery and school, when there are lots of times when children are asked to wait. It could be very special for your child to see that there are times when you enjoy just being with him or her.
12 Can we do Watch Me Play with the TV on?
In Watch Me Play!, all the focus is on your child’s play. For this, television needs to be off and screens put away. Guidance for parents of babies and young children recommends watching a programme together with your child and talking about it after the TV is switched off.
Watching favourite TV programmes together can be a lovely time for your child and you, but TV that’s on all the time in the background is a distraction that can impact on children’s development. Children are less able to focus when the TV is on; background TV can also make it harder for parents to notice what’s going on for their child and pick up on their cues.
Children who have been used to the TV being on all the time often react when it is turned off but accept it being off after a few days. Parents and carers have reported that their child with speech and language difficulties communicated with them more clearly when the television was only turned on to watch a special programme. They also reported finding more times when they enjoyed just being with their child.
13 I feel a bit silly when I talk to my child about what she is doing in her play. It doesn’t feel natural. How about if I watch but keep quiet?
This may feel a bit strange to start off with, but many caregivers find they get used to it and that their baby or child responds by using more sounds and words. It’s very helpful for children’s confidence and language for them to hear you talking about what they are doing.
See how you get on and see how your child responds. You don’t need to talk non-stop. Leave time when you and your child can just get used to being together while he or she is playing.
14 Who can I speak to if I have any concerns about my child’s play?
If you are worried about your child’s play or about their development, it may be helpful to talk with a family member or a professional who knows your child, such as a health visitor, GP, or someone at nursery or school.
Talking with another interested adult about your child’s play may help you work out what is going on for your child. It may help you notice more about your child’s interests and likes. It could also help to find out about any extra support that your child might benefit from.
15 What results will I see if I do Watch me Play regularly- and how long will it take to see some changes?
Some parents and carers find that Watch Me Play! helps them to get to know and enjoy being with their baby or child. Some parents see changes straight away; others tell us that they notice changes after some weeks.
Watch Me Play! is a two-way process: there may be improvements in your older child’s concentration, behaviour or speech; and you may find you enjoy being with your child in a different way. Your child may be calmer; over time he or she may become more able to share, play imaginatively and play on their own. You may both get used to enjoying a quiet time together during the day. With a baby, a special time to focus on playing and enjoying being together can help you to feel more confident about picking up on your baby’s cues.
